By Sister Mary Scholastica, O.C.D.
Have I ever run a marathon? No. Do I want to run a marathon? No. Is there even an inkling of a desire in my heart to run a marathon? Nope. Do I think I can run a marathon? Ummm….my first reactive response was “Nope”. Upon further reflection, I realized if I really wanted to do this, I could. I could run a marathon. I could! Just like the Little Engine that could! For those who don’t understand this reference, it’s from a children’s book, a little train engine trying to make its way up a mountain. That’s my remembrance that I’m not fact checking, so if the book is about something else, my apologies!
To say these words, “I can run a marathon” does make me want to laugh and probably would have others who know me well laughing out loud as well. I recall going to the doctor’s office and because my blood pressure is always low, she asked me if I was an athlete, to which I proceeded to laugh. But I could be an athlete. My brothers are, why can’t I? I just chose not to be one.
This random musing is not to share about all the things I could do in the ways of athletic endeavors. It’s to touch upon the point that I think I can or can’t do something. Who is to say that I can or can’t do something? How regularly do we hear people say: “I can’t do X. I can’t read maps. I can’t dance. I can’t run. I can’t sing. I can’t play an instrument. I can’t write.” I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. Who says so? I’d like to know.
Yes, there are those who are tone deaf but for the most part, most of us if we had lessons every day, would probably be able to carry a tune by the end. If you wanted to write a story, if you had someone teaching you the ABCs of writing, in time you’d be able to do so. If you weren’t technical, if you really wanted to stay in touch with your grandkids and that was the only way, and had one of them teach you, you probably would learn how to use technology. The list goes on.
In reflecting about the “I can’t” statements I use, is it that I really can’t or that I don’t want to. True, there is a natural propensity within each of us towards however it is that God made us and how our circumstances formed us. But I think we often use the “I can’t” statements as an easy out. It’s much easier to say, “I can’t” versus to try. “I can’t” also allows us to hide in the spaces in which we are comfortable, spaces that don’t push us to stretch and grow.
Now…if I REALLY wanted to, I could run a marathon. I could. With someone to coach me, walk with me in the process of taking incremental steps, run 5 minutes one day, add a little more each day, a little longer each day, by the end, I could run a marathon. The desire of my heart in wanting to run, coupled with the discipline and daily practices that prepare me to run, and the persevering commitment that would take me to the finish line. This entire process would then become life changing as the commitments I’d keep to myself would form me from within and strengthen my inner spirit, give richer depth to my personal identity, broaden my horizons beyond my perceived limitations.
The other equation to this topic applies to those of us who think we can do everything but don’t want to put the effort in. A bit of wishful thinking. There are many angles we could delve into. Thinking you can do it all is not necessarily a bad thing but if you become self-reliant and truly do think you can do it all on your own, that would be a problem. We need others to reflect to us what they see and to bring their own gifts to the table as we complement and challenge each other. And the truth of the matter is, only with God, in God and through God are all things possible.
For the sake of keeping this reflection relatively short…here’s the main point in a nutshell….well, a large nut-shell.
As we continue our journey through 2024, really listen to all your “I can’t” statements. Listen for it. And when you hear it, reflect on it. What’s the deeper reason, the underlying voice that is motivating your external “I can’t” belief. Avoidance, laziness, procrastination, lack of desire, a choice not to put your energies there, never even trying, etc. The list goes on.
It’s not that you can’t. Have you even tried? I don’t mean just once; I mean over and over and over again. There must be a reason why even the physical structure of our brain becomes healthier and grows when we learn new things and do things differently than our repeated patterns. It’s lighting up new pathways. It’s how God made us.
“I can’t” statements do have a tendency of locking you into a limited space with walls that keep you hemmed in with a nice and safe feeling that isn’t always healthy. It’s also narrow and confined. We’re meant to color outside the lines, to try new things, expand our horizons, grow beyond what we think we can do and sometimes what we want to do. We need to surprise ourselves. Or better put, we need to allow ourselves to be surprised. There’s so much potential within you. You can. And with God, even the impossible becomes possible.
