Sister Michelle

What have you learned during your years in Carmel?

The diamond is spiritually recognized (from the Greek) as unbreakable, representing fortitude, fearlessness, and courage. It symbolizes deep, everlasting love and loyalty. Who has all of these qualities and more? The One who called me to Carmel; Our Lord Jesus is the One who has been faithful to me for these past 60 years—really, all of my life! The testimony from my dear Irish mother related that I first announced my desire to become a religious sister when I was in the 3rd grade. When my life in Carmel began, there were special milestones along the way: In 1966, after 6 months of Postulancy, a request to enter the Novitiate, after 2 years as a Novice, a request to be admitted to First Profession of Vows, then each year for 6 years a request to renew my vows, and, at last, the request to make my Perpetual Profession of Vows. At each of these steps, I included in my written request a quotation from St. Robert Southwell, S.J.: “Gift better than Himself God cannot give; gift better than His God, man cannot know…God is my gift; Himself He freely gave me; God’s gift am I—and none but God shall have me.”

This past Christmas, I received a special grace during our community Mass. A visiting priest had spent the last days of Advent and Christmas with us, and during Mass each day, he shared insights from his own prayer life. As he had explained about the donkey’s prominent role in the life of Jesus, the spiritual gift I received was the perfect image for my Diamond Jubilee remembrance card—the donkey—and the wording for the back of the card: “Lord, You rode into Jerusalem on a humble donkey. I ask for the grace of a servant’s heart to be humble, hard-working, able to carry heavy loads, and with a tenacious desire for each person’s salvation.”

Maybe the prayer about “carrying a heavy load” after 60 years sounds unrealistic, but this request actually takes on more meaning for me now. Our life of prayer in Carmel is truly our “work” and, yes, the load is heavy. I had not formally had these petitions in my mind when I came to Carmel, but my Christmas grace was a clarification in words of what my desires have been. Pope Benedict XVI said that “prayer is the greatest force for the transformation of the world.” Jesus told His disciples a parable to show them that they should pray always and not give up.

Yes, Jubilee, has an aspect of “looking back” and “recalling” with gratitude and awe God’s faithfulness manifested through the support of my family of origin, my sisters in Carmel, and the goodness and kindness of co-workers, friends, and benefactors. But it is just as important to look forward. I want to give myself more totally to my first apostolate of interceding in prayer for the world, using all of the time ahead to hold the world’s needs before God. In the quiet of these later years and, at a slower pace, my prayer is for your ever deepening hunger for God, for the sanctification of priests, and the salvation of all souls.