By Sister Mary Scholastica, O.C.D.
These days leading up to Christmas … how is it going for you? Does the word “tension” come to mind? Like the tension of a rubber band when it’s being stretched?
Let’s look at one aspect of preparing for Christmas. The actual preparation: getting our cards out, preparing gifts, holiday cooking, etc. It can cause us to feel fragmented and frazzled. Balancing it all, trying to be generous, feeling overwhelmed. Ultimately, we do what we do because we want others to know and experience our love and gratitude, to show tangibly that we care. The tension between the good we want to do and what the reality of process looks and feels like can cause a boatload of stress. We feel stretched thin physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally.
Now, for a moment, pause…just pause.
The reminder that we receive during this beautiful season of Advent is simply that: to “pause.” Advent is a time of waiting, hoping, receiving; it is a time of learning to be patient and learning what patience means within the process. When everything continues to whirl in and around us, we have the ability and the grace to “pause.” We need to “pause”.
If we’re honest with ourselves, the tension we feel largely comes from within us … self-expectations, unspoken expectations we put on others, expectations others put on us, our sometimes-selfish motives, our desire to be in control and to have things work out exactly as planned. A high level of perfectionism exists and is fostered in the air which sucks out the joy this season is supposed to epitomize. Sometimes the tension is due to strained relationships that weigh on you, choosing to see all that happens through a negative lens, trying to be all things to all people, a seeming inability to kick a bad habit, perceived failures in what you think you should be doing and providing, etc. The list is endless. All these things can cause tension within us, and this colors how we live in the moment.
Our entire lives are in process, and it is a process. Our society tries to connect point A to point Z without allowing the rest of the letters of the alphabet to have their time. You need all the letters to make words. We don’t typically allow time for “process”. We want results now. Just think of what we do to our food. We are unable to let the normal “process” of growth happen when it comes to a lot of what we eat … we modify it, speed up the process, try to perfect it. We then wonder why there are so many issues tied to the food we eat and our own health. This is done in so many areas of our lives – individually and as an entire society. It’s pervasive.
Advent reminds us to pause, to process, and to have patience with ourselves and others in this wide-open space of the “process.” Advent speaks of peace, patience, waiting, receiving, abiding, being still, being open, allowing for growth, a spirit of silence that is heavy with meaning and depth.
It’s not that these tensions can and should melt away during Advent. It’s that His coming reminds us that every moment of our lives, He’s there in it with us. If we believe, if we truly believe this … even though the struggles of life (internally and externally) remain, these moments, the process of life, are made holy by our choosing to share it with the Lord. Come, Lord Jesus!
Let us recognize the tensions we feel within ourselves. Let us pause in the spirit of Advent … and give it to the Lord. Come Lord Jesus and dwell in us, for we desire to live only for YOU.
