By Sister Grace Helena, O.C.D.
If you have ever felt the need to control a situation, a person…or the future and all it holds…welcome to the human race and a not-so-exclusive club. Whether it be in big things or trifles of day to day living, the need to control is part of the human condition that almost everyone struggles with to some degree. I struggle with it. In my walk to allow God to lead and guide my days, I have realized that what I am really trying to renounce is more than just ‘control’ – it is all that I am attached to, beginning with trying to control outcomes, personal goals, hopes for loved ones and their happiness, situations and circumstances, relationships, worries….and on it goes. I am realizing that the energy it takes to affect a positive outcome in each of these areas is truly beyond the scope of human ability. Why? Because I am not in control of God nor His designs in my life, let alone anyone else’s. Enter Saint Joseph: teacher par excellence in the way of simplicity and surrender.
Four years ago, I met Saint Joseph in a very real and tangible way. I began a novena prayer to him and each time I prayed it he answered my prayer – really. After the third round or so, I began to talk to him about life, not just about wants and needs. And I realized that my conversations with him were becoming very natural – as a daughter to her father. When I discussed a concern, I found myself more at peace afterwards – not always with a ready answer to my concern, but I knew I had been heard by my father and he understood me. I knew he was present and listening. He has slowly and consistently helped me to understand how simplicity and surrender go together. I recently began praying to him for the grace to see ‘just the next step’ in my life – in a way that I would walk in greater simplicity and surrender to God’s Will on a daily basis. Every day for months he showed me a ‘next step’ which gave deeper clarity to my life in Christ and being present to each moment of the day. These next steps were as simple as being aware of those persons set before me or being grateful for a communication that was unexpected – these next steps helped me to realize that control was wasted energy, because I was finding peace and joy in what was right before me. I was finding our Lord in the ‘stuff of the day’, the good, the bad, and the not so pretty. When I was present to the moments of the day, more was accomplished, greater peace was experienced (even in the tough moments), and it was easier to let go of what did not get done. My heart was convicted of the deep need to surrender my worries to the Lord and to remain as a child in the Father’s gaze. My spiritual father continues to teach me how to remain before our Heavenly Father – as His child, simple, surrendered, and confidant in His love for me.
Original watercolor paintings created by the Carmelite Sisters of the Most Sacred Heart of Los Angeles
