It is natural that even the most stout-hearted among us would feel at least a little bit of fear when faced with persecution, the possibility of incarceration or execution, fleeing one’s homeland in disguise to live in a strange new place where one did not speak the language nor understand local customs. This is just the situation in which Mother Luisita found herself during the violent religious persecutions of late-1920s Mexico. Yet through it all, Mother Luisita’s faith and trust in God’s providence never wavered. She pushed fear aside knowing that God would never ask her to do something without providing the means for her to accomplish it. The following reflections speak to the manner in which Mother Luisita coped with these fears, never allowing them to deter her from accomplishing the work God entrusted to her. We pray they inspire you in your life journey.
Many of us are aware of the scene from the classic movie Wizard of Oz where Dorothy, locked arm-in-arm with the Cowardly Lion, Tin Man, and Scarecrow, proceeded gingerly through a darkened forest, whispering together in unison, “Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!” As a child, this phrase was a quintessential example of fear. But what is fear? Fear is part of the basic human drive for life or survival; it is part of the “fight or flight” psychological response to perceived harm or threat. All of us have known fear. From that first push off the curb on a bike without training wheels to the perceived or unperceived ideas in our mind that we do battle with before making an important decision.
Fear of the Unknown – Sister Mary Scholastica, O.C.D.
I would venture to say that fear of the unknown is something we encounter all throughout our lives. We like to have control; to know what to expect. Succumbing to this fear can keep us in a tidy, locked safe space where we (on occasion) timidly stretch out our big toe to see if anything comes to bite it. It causes anxiety, stress (the wrong kind’) and wastes an immense amount of time and energy. We miss the graces of the present moment and we diminish our potential for greatness. Simply put, we limit ourselves.
Enter God. It sounds simplistic but it really is this simple. If we choose to live each moment of the day, trusting that God in His merciful love is watching out for us, the unknown becomes an unfolding of His grace at work in our life. The good and beautiful, even the bad and the ugly hold meaning. Can you imagine the freedom, the wide-open space, the potential?
Our Foundress, Mother Luisita, lived in the realm of the unknown. Widow. Foundress. Persecution. Religious refugee. Amidst it all, she knew God was walking with her. Here we are, almost 100 years later, walking in her footsteps. Look at what diving into the unknown, firmly holding Jesus’ hand, can do!
Feeling fear is neither abnormal nor a sign of weakness. Our brains are actually hard-wired for fear. Being fearless does not mean eliminating fear. It means knowing how to leverage it. We instinctively react to fear or we can learn it from repeated unpleasant situations. We can even be taught culturally to fear certain things. Our Foundress, Mother Luisita, also knew fear.
Fear of Imprisonment – Sister Michelle, O.C.D.
It might be easy for me to poke fun at someone who is afraid of the dark because that kind of fear is not something I experience. But getting on a train bound for another country with the possibility of being discovered because I was a Christian and because my name was on a “wanted” list in my own country would instill in me a great fear.
I watch and listen to what Mother Luisita did in this exact situation. She spoke with her two sister companions on the train as they fled from Mexico and told them “nothing happens without our Lord per-mitting it. His goodness will provide everything we need. Just wait and see.” And a great peace was experienced by those sisters as they traveled on their way.
Mother Maria Luisa’s father was a large landowner in their small village and she grew up in a home of deep religious faith as well as in comfort. At 15, she was wed to a doctor and together they ministered to the less fortunate in their town. But, after the death of her husband, the Mexico that Luisita knew and loved would change forever. In 1910, Porfirio Diaz was overthrown, and the Mexican Revolution began. One of the revolution’s goals was to eradicate the Catholic Church’s influence on Mexican culture. Suddenly, Mothers’ small band of religious sisters found themselves hunted.
Fear of Failure – Sister Magdalene Grace, O.C.D.
I am one of the many millennials out there who received blue ribbons in science fair (although I was in last place) and a trophy in every sport (although I never won a championship) simply because I tried… I am from a generation that was protected from the sting of failure, and as a result, developed a fear of it. In the convent, I discovered that I wasn’t so perfect after all… In the silence and simplicity of Carmel, the real me encountered the real God. In His presence, I was able to see not only my own imperfections and failures, but His great love for me. My worth was no longer based on success and failure, but in being His beloved child.
The sisters had to go in small groups to private homes to hide from the Federalists, fearing that, at any moment, they would be discovered and imprisoned or killed. It was not uncommon for the sisters to be awakened in the night and told to gather their few items and escape over the rooftops to another location. Yes, Mother Luisita knew fear. But the cultivation of a different fear would be her strength.
Fear of God’s Love – Sister Jeannine Marie, O.C.D.
Afraid of God’s love. That seems odd. Well, let’s see. The great modern apologist, C.S. Lewis, said that it is very human to struggle with the reality of the depth of God’s love for us. You see, when the subject is God, well, it presents an entirely different picture. We perform acts of love while God, as Saint John so simply and succinctly states, “God is love.” Love is the very essence of God, therefore, there is no limit or measure to God (His love.) That should be wonderful, right? Then why the fear?
This intense love demands a return. C.S. Lewis says that when God comes into your house (soul,) He begins with simple maintenance, but suddenly starts knocking down walls and putting up wings. You expect a simple cottage and suddenly He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it! This demands surrender.
Mother Luisita surrendered each moment to God. She welcomed God into her soul and allowed Him to tear down and build up as He wished. Opening to the love of God may be fearful, but, oh, what a beautiful palace He can build. Surrender!
Fearful moments in life will come but how we face them is in our control. If, like Mother Luisita, we cultivate a personal relationship with God, a God who loves us and wants only our good, then we can surrender all to His wisdom. Easy? No. This is a relationship that must deepen and grow. We hope that you will find the following reflections helpful on your journey toward that relationship. Adelante! Forward!
Fear of Rejection – Sister Anita Mary, O.C.D.
It is the most basic human desire: to be loved and accepted. So it comes as no surprise that one of our deepest fears is that of rejection. As with the fear of failure, we spend so much energy keeping up images of ourselves that we believe will ensure acceptance and respect from others. The irony is that other people cannot satisfy our hunger for love; we are looking in the wrong place for infinite, unconditional love. The good news is: that love is already given, we need only receive it. Our Heavenly Father loves us, the real us, not the “perfect” yet false image that we have of ourselves. Not only does He accept us, He is proud to call us His very own.
