By Sister Mary Scholastica, O.C.D.
Advent is a season of expectations. Expectation of the coming of the Messiah, the One Who is to save us. This longing for the Savior wells out from deep within us, forming our hearts to be expectant hearts…open, receptive, full of wonder and hope, desirous of His coming.
From Mr. Webster, the definition of “expectation”
- a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.
- a belief that someone will or should achieve something.
- one’s prospects of inheritance.
In the ordinary humdrum rhythm of life, this expectant spirit is not the stance we take as we move through each day and look at what the word “expectation” really means to us. In fact, the word, in how we think of and experience it, can have more of a negative connotation, a burden we place on ourselves or a burden we feel others place upon us.
It’s something to consider.
We expect others to be aware of our needs. We expect ourselves to get things right the first time, to always land on our feet should we fall, to be all things to all people. We expect others to do things in a way that we prefer. You can tell because it irks you when they do it in a manner you were not “expecting”. We expect others to hear that we said, receive it with full openness and understand all the nuances of what we meant. Others expect this very same thing from us. We expect perfection even if we say we don’t. Evidence of this is our own negative patterns of thought, getting down on ourselves and discouraged, experiencing shame and hurt pride after we make a mistake or feel we didn’t show our “best selves” (human respect). We expect circumstances to be a certain way and if not, it takes us a while to let go of what we were “expecting” and how things “should have been” to reconcile ourselves to what is. We expect others to know when we need affirmation, space to process, camaraderie and feel rejected or forgotten when it’s not extended at a time when there is a need. We experience anger when we feel/perceive that others are expecting certain things from us. It feels like an unfair burden, yet we expect the same of others in similar yet different ways. In one given day, there are many expectations experienced, perceived, expressed, assumed.
Is the distinction of the word “expectation” that different when reflective of the Advent spirit in comparison to the expectations of daily life with which we struggle? In reference to Advent it feels open and receptive, in reference to our daily challenges it feels closed and burdensome.
What is the stance of our hearts? What is our mindset? Is it our own woundedness that blocks us from seeing life through the lens of Advent expectancy? Is it my inability to let go?
This Advent, let us pray through how we respond today, so that one week, one month, one year from now, at the end of our lives, the expectant Advent spirit and the spirit in which we live each day are one and the same. May you have a blessed Advent.
